Women's Hotel

Women's Hotel

Four beautiful ladies walked into a hotel to stay in for the night, the name of the hotel read, “Pleasure Giving Hotel For Women”
The ladies were convinced and walked in.
On the first floor a sign read, ‘the men on this floor are not good at having sex, but are very gentle and very tempting’.

The ladies were not satisfied and they walked to the second floor which a sign read, ‘the men on this floor are good at having sex but are very rude and self-considerate’
The ladies were once again not satisfied and went on to the third floor where a sign said, ‘There are nothing wrong with the men on this floor, they’re good at having soft sex they are very nice, gentle and hot’ the four ladies were tempted to go in but decided to go to the last floor to see what was in it.

When they got there they saw a sign that said, ‘There is absolutely no one on this floor, this floor was just made to show that there is no way to please a woman’

Chemistry of Love SYMBOL

Chemistry of Love SYMBOL : ILU
ATOMIC NUMBER : 2
ATOMIC WEIGHT : Varies from Couple To couple
POSITION ON PERIODIC TABLE : Close To The Heart
OCCURRENCE : Occurs In highly Reactive State , Colleges Compounds ,Cinema, Halls, Parks and Bus stops!

METHOD OF PREPARATION :
a) : by the action of beauty upon heart. An Exothermic reaction resulting in the higher rate of blood circulation and Faster heart beat!
b) : by the combination of two complex compounds. commonly known as a Boy and a Girl!

CATALYST USED : Friends, Cousins, Movies, Restaurants and a highly active imagination!

REDUCING AGENTS : Parents, Teachers, Neighbors and Society!

GIRL + PARENTS ---> EXPLOSION + LOSS OF SALINE WATER FROM TEAR GLANDS

BOY + REDUCING AGENT ---> REBELLIONS

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES :
a) : Gas at human temperature
b) : COLOR : Varying shades of Pink
c) : ODOR : Strong enough to sweep one off one's feet

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES :
a) : ACTION ON SCIENTISTS : LOVE + SCIENTIST ---> PHILOSOPHER
b) : ACTION ON TEENAGERS : LOVE + TEENAGER ---> POET
c) : REACTS VIGOROUSLY WITH SUPPRESSION
d) : CANNOT BE DISSOCIATED BY USE OF "SOLID" AND "BEAT"

ENERGY USES :
a) : HELPS IN FOOD ECONOMY : As One Is In LOVE ..forgets to EAT and DRINK!
b) : SMALL AND SUBTLE DOSAGE IS NECESSARY : As It Is Go0d For BODY and MIND
c) : RAW MATERIAL FOR MOVIE THEME
d) : NON-CONVENTIONAL SOURCE OF ENERGY INFERENCE : THROUGH "CHEMISTRY" I TRIED TO DEFINE LOVE , IT STILL REMAINS UNDEFINED!

From Fropki.

Humor in Marriage

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's the wife's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. - Kathleen Mifsud

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it. - Ann Bancroft

Any husband who says. "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. - Bill Cosby

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. - Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - George Burns

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 40 pounds. - Cindy Garner

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the swimming pool." - Henny Youngman

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny Youngman

I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. - Erma Bombeck

At a party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man." - Anonymous

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a big gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Control?

When our daughter, Carolyn, was a freshman at the University of Pennsylvania, my husband called her frequently to make sure she was all right. He liked to phone on Saturday night, because it was date night.

One Saturday, about 10:45P.M. he called her room and was relieved when she picked up the phone. "Oh honey," he said, "I'm so glad you're back in your dorm."

"Dad," replied Carolyn, "I'm just geeting ready to go out!"

Just smile!

I had asked my parents for a portrait of themselves, and after several years they finally had their picture taken by a profession photographer. When they gave me my copy, I was pleased to see that my ususally serious-looking father was smiling.

"How did he get Dad to smile?" I asked my mother.

"He," Mom replied, "was a she!"

No more!

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, over sized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" She sighed.

"No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag and my partner can buy the ticket!"

This is heaven

This old man and old woman (husband and wife) die and go to heaven.
There, St. Peter gives them the grand tour of their new home.
It's a HUGE mansion with a limo driver, gardener, etc.

The old man exclaims, "That's ours?" St.
Peter says "Yes, it is yours, forever and ever."
The old man is a little suspicious and says, "How much is the rent?"

St. Peter says, "It is free. After all, this is heaven."

Across the street is an expansive golf course with beautifully manicured lawn, interesting layout, and fun golf carts.

St. Peter says, "You can play here whenever you want." The old man says, "What are the green fees?"

St. Peter replies, "None. After all, this is heaven."
The old man is very impressed.

They go inside the house and on the dining room table is a gigantic feast with roasted meats, desserts, fine wine and all the fixings.
The old man says, "How many calories?" St. Peter says, "None. After all, this is heaven."

The old man gets a look on his face like he suddenly understands what heaven is all about.

Then the old man suddenly turns and slaps the old woman, yelling, "You stupid witch! If it weren't for your damn bran muffins and tofu and other health food, not to mention making me give up booze and cigarettes and take exercise every day, we could have been here YEARS ago!"